LA... a note to follow so

How to get the perfect internship... Part 1

THE RESUME


At one point or another, you probably asked yourself- I have so many qualities and skillz, how can I conveniently hand them out to people?

This is where your resume comes in.

An résumé (usually spelled like resume and pronounce in a French accent) is a piece of document containing a summary of everything you have ever done in life to obtain a job.

The word résumé is used especially in the United States and in English Canada; the Latin term curriculum vitæ (often abbreviated CV) is instead used in the United Kingdom, Ireland, New Zealand, French Canada and some Commonwealth countries.

STEP 1
Name
Put your name in BIG BOLD CAPITILIZED LETTERS and make sure you put your nickname in there too.
Example:
MICHAEL “THE HUNK” SMITH
MISS MACROSCOPIC MAD MONEY MARY MARTIN
* Alliteration in your name is a plus!

STEP 2
Location
Always put cardboard box… you can never lose when you reside in a 3- Dimensional geometric processed tree.

STEP 3
Objective
To become a Production Assistant so I can slowly stomp on the higher ups and take over the company and make it into a shoelace factory so I can write secret notes on shoelaces and sell them and then Justin Timberlake would marry me.
* Usually, companies like their employees to be as direct, honest and specefic as possible.

STEP 4
Work Experience
Put in order from recent to past.
- Intern at General Media Company
- Waitress at Big Mama’s Mechanic Shop
- Vampire Hunter
- Bee- Keeper
- Friend
*Go as far back as you can remember cause I don’t know about you but I know I had a job when I was a baby… lover.

STEP 5
Related Experiences
If you know how to hypnotize a snail while singing Semi- Charmed Life in French wearing a teapot on your head… put that baby down. Damn straight it’s related. I am 97% sure your boss would look at that and say, “Whoa. Whoa… I freakin’ love putting things on my head. Freakin’ hired!”

STEP 6
Technical Skillz
NEVER EVER put word, excel or insecurity… because all you will be doing at that job would be word, excel and/or cleaning the ears of disheartened souls.

STEP 7
References
This is where Jesus, Santa Claus or the elf from Keebler would probably help you out the most. But if you don’t know any of them then the best reference I can recommend is your heart.

STEP 8
Format
Colorful, visual, 5-pages, and…
PRETTY, PRETTY, PRETTY!!

+You may notice I left out education…
hmm I wonder why. +

Your resume sums up who you are and you stand out from the rest of the world. You are a free thinker, an individual, and an aficionado. Remembering that will help you with getting any job your lil heart desires.

posted by Angel @ 6:30 PM