LA... a note to follow so

Cheat Sheet- The Intern Quiz

2007-01-06T14:01:00.000-08:00

One of many Stand- Up Shows

2006-12-05T12:53:00.000-08:00

Day 1 and 2 at The Comedy Fest in Las Vegas

2006-11-14T22:41:00.000-08:00

DAY 1
Got in at the Las Vegas airport at 11:40am.
Needed to poop real bad at 11:24.
Comedy Fest escort identified me at 12pm.
Arrived at Caesars Palace at 12:15pm.
Went straight to work at 1pm.
Answered calls, transefered calls, took messages from calls, untangled Christmas lights till 10:30pm.
Job I will cross out my list because I do not want to do- receptionist.

-------------------------------------
DAY 2
Arrived to work at 7am.
Answered phone calls, made copies of scripts, made small talk, set up tent, encouraged people, inspired people, conspired... people...?
We put up the festival village tent where all our sponsors are. They each have cute little booths where we get free stuff. Our kick-off party/show was also today- Mikalah Gordon and Woody Wittman were the hosts. There were performances by Wild N' Out, Triumph- the insult dog and Muppets. There were magicians. Job I want to do- magician.

My trip to Price is Right.

2006-11-10T13:13:00.000-08:00

We needed 20 people to go as a group.
19 of us showed up. We needed one more or else we won’t be able go.

Rob comes to the rescue.

We arrived and everyone gets a number. Mine was 110 which is lucky because that is the number of follicles on my hand of fury.

We waited and practiced pricing things- like a CSI t- shirt and "dolla" glasses.

Finally we got our name- tags… it is hand written.

They interviewed us and we had an elaborate fool- proof plan to get me picked. The story was that I came from China andI learned English from Price is Right and my first words were “Come on down!" and that I was Asian.

I didn’t do it because my first words were milk and I thought that would be disrespectful to cows but I’m not even a diary fan. How Ironic.

We went inside 5 hours later. It was surprisingly small- even if you knew it was gonna be small because it’s TV- it’s still surprisingly small.

The taping was quick and efficient- boom boom boom. Bob Barker was so nice. He did the Happy Gilmore line just for us.

Allen won a car, a daybed and a lifetime supply of respect.

THE END

5 short short screenplays by Angel Yau

2006-11-07T15:56:00.000-08:00

MUSIC VIDEO SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD
EXT. VENICE BEACH- MORNING (7:30am)
Angel and Erin look at each other as they enter the humungo trailer.

ANGEL
Who's music video are we doing again?
ERIN
Stacy Orrico. She used to sing gospel songs. That's why I'm going to break all rules and ask for an autograph.
PROJECT COORDINATOR
Please go to 123 Veryfaraway St. to deliver these packages.

FADE TO BLACK.

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE
INT. PRETEND PUSSYCAT DOLL LOUNGE- NIGHT
Mark McGrath catches Angel's eyes as he walks to the stage.

EXTRA
Yo. I hear you Mark McGrath.
MARK
Tis True.
EXTRA
Yo. Hook me up with the front seat. I ain't sitting by the back.
MARK
I'll see what I can do.

The director takes the extra and seats him right by the stage.

FADE TO BLACK.

WHAT DOES MY LIFE RUN ON?
EXT. DOWNTOWN LA- MORNING (4:30am)
Angel orders a BLT wrap with avacado at the catering truck.

CUT TO:

EXT. DOWNTOWN LA- DAY (4:00pm)
Angel is standing in the middle of the steet.

ANGEL
Excuse me. Can you please stop sir. We are filming.
MAN IN BUSINESS SUIT
What are you guys filming?
ANGEL
A Dunkin Donuts commercial.
MAN IN BUSINESS SUIT
Pshhhh. I ain't got time for that shit.

FADE TO BLACK

THE WEDDING RECEPTION
INT. SOUTHCLUB HOUSE- NIGHT

Drunk kids dance to Journey, Kelly Clarkson and the fear that they will soon go back to Ithaca in the cold at 7pm.

CUT TO BLACK.

WHAT GOES HERE. STAYS HERE.
INT. HBO COMEDY FEST OFFICE- DAY

Angel peers into her supervisor's eyes.

SUPERVISOR
You will be going to Vegas next Monday morning till Sunday Morning for our comedy festival. We will put you at the Caesar's Palace, pay for your flight, house your pet elephant, and actually pay you. 100 a day plus 50 for food. All you have to do is do receptionist things and greet comedians and be more charming and hilarious than you already are.
ANGEL
Uh niceeee HIGH FIVE!

FADE TO WHITE.

Coming Attractions...

2006-11-01T14:14:00.000-08:00

The following posts will soon be presented:

- Another Music Video shoot
- Angel's Halloween Stand Up Bonanza
- The New Pussycat Dolls Taping
- Dunkin Donuts Commercial shoot
- How to be a voice- over artist
- How to cook meals using a paperclip and facebook
- Prarie Fire That Wanders About
- Chairs... sexy chairs
- Hungry
- Pizza
- Steak

... uhhh Stay Tune!

10 amazing facts about my internship that will probably make you jealous.

2006-10-26T11:48:00.000-07:00

1. I get all the post- it notes I want... okay maybe not post- it notes... paper clips... scraps of garbage... ALL I WANT!

2. The paper shredder got moved a quarter inch closer to the copier!

3. We stocked up on "Sign Here" stickers!

4. My new daily job is to take lunch orders... for 50!

5. I get to be on set more! The set of the office... supply... room. Hmmm.

6. On Oct. 29th, 2006 I win a whole hour! Whooooo hooooo.

7. They hired more PA's (interns that get paid) so now we, interns, get to sit in the kitchen!

8. I'm getting more comfortable with the execs! Instead of weirdly winking at them in the morning, I sing a verse of a J. Timbs song.

9. I'm getting more gassy in the morning... !

10. My hair is growing, so it's at that awkward mid-way point...
just like my life.

Jealous? I know I am.

My first LA stand up comedy show

2006-10-24T12:49:00.000-07:00

It’s been 8 days and about 12 hours since you written in your LA blog, Angel! Where have you been?
I’ve been presented with this question a lot lately.
I’ve also been asked if I like Munster or Mozzarella cheese… I don’t like cheese at all. Ew.

I’ve been slaying dragons and writing peace treaties for the Camelot. Well surely, that’s not the only thing.

You’re right. It’s not. Well so first of all remember that music video I PA’ed and was in… so it’s Hollywood and they said I outshined Rachael so they had to cut me out, but you can see my silhouette at the beginning the video. My music video debut, surely I’ll be famous now.

But being a background artist isn’t your one compassion? Nope, I also did my first public stand- up comedy show in LA this weekend. Why?
I love making people laugh… well, I like attention too because my parents didn’t give me enough in my painful childhood…

I’ve done stand- up in Ithaca with the IC stand up club which contrary to popular belief is NOT falling apart… I did a few shows in NYC where I live so I thought I was well prepared for the show in HaHa Café and the UCB theatre… I can safely say I was a bit wrong.

A few things I learned from performing-
1- Practice out loud
…. Because how you sound and move in your head, totally different when you actually perform.
2- Make faces and voices
…. People love animated schizos.
3- Be comfortable
…. If you’re nervous, the people watching you will be nervous too, unless you pee in your pants- then that’s HILARIOUS.
4- Establish a common point, cater to the audience
…. Be different, but don’t jump to it right away, make the audience like you. If the audience is made up of walnuts and all you have are peanut jokes- you better make peanut butter cups. Mmmm delicious, especially when they’re all melty and creamy and…
5- You are funny.
…. Sometimes the audience need a lil time to get your jokes, don’t glaze over- in fact just wait until they get it, even if it takes an hour. Wait. Wait. Wait.

Which is why for my next act I will dress up as a beekeeper, making bee jokes but sound like the cast of the Flinestones for an hour.
Accessible.

LOS ANGELES AIDS WALK

2006-10-16T23:15:00.000-07:00

"You and a crowd of 30,000 made the 22nd annual AIDS Walk Los Angeles a huge success. Thanks to you, we raised $3,768,295 (and counting!) – fully $500,000 above last year’s great result and $400,000 above our prior best year ever (1996). The money raised by AIDS Walk Los Angeles (AWLA) benefits AIDS Project Los Angeles and other AIDS service organizations across Los Angeles County. "

The AIDS walk took place on Sunday in West Hollywood. We walked many many miles non- stop. We did not stop for the portable bathrooms, the snacks, the cute little puppy. Seriously, AIDS stop for no one… except for maybe traffic.

Here's the opening ceremony... (I was late... that's all I got... and know.)

We walked about 7 miles. I will document each mile with a visual photograph, which will probably sum up the highlight of that mile.

Some teams got really creative. The 80's team was by far the funnest.

Hey guys! I found my Halloween costume early!

The cutest walker ever!

About mile 4, I knew I was already hallucinating because my favorite chocolate milk mascot was talking to frogger about the economic crisis of Los Angeles.

Then to relive my childhood even more, one of the pit stop included ICE CREAM! ICE CREAM! ICE CREAM!!

... man, these childhood memories keep rollin' in. "After you walk for a cause you get lite beer!"

This balloon was in my face for a whole mile. I named it Charlie. After the horse.

Finally at the end of the mile- we received a hearty congraaaatulations by nice lookin' people... although I would rather receive a hearty chili... with meat and beans and cure for AIDS. Thank you.

For more accurate information visit: www.aidswalk.net/losangeles
There's still time to donate!

How to get the perfect internship... Part 1

2006-10-09T18:30:00.001-07:00

THE RESUME

At one point or another, you probably asked yourself- I have so many qualities and skillz, how can I conveniently hand them out to people?

This is where your resume comes in.

An résumé (usually spelled like resume and pronounce in a French accent) is a piece of document containing a summary of everything you have ever done in life to obtain a job.

The word résumé is used especially in the United States and in English Canada; the Latin term curriculum vitæ (often abbreviated CV) is instead used in the United Kingdom, Ireland, New Zealand, French Canada and some Commonwealth countries.

STEP 1
Name
Put your name in BIG BOLD CAPITILIZED LETTERS and make sure you put your nickname in there too.
Example:
MICHAEL “THE HUNK” SMITH
MISS MACROSCOPIC MAD MONEY MARY MARTIN
* Alliteration in your name is a plus!

STEP 2
Location
Always put cardboard box… you can never lose when you reside in a 3- Dimensional geometric processed tree.

STEP 3
Objective
To become a Production Assistant so I can slowly stomp on the higher ups and take over the company and make it into a shoelace factory so I can write secret notes on shoelaces and sell them and then Justin Timberlake would marry me.
* Usually, companies like their employees to be as direct, honest and specefic as possible.

STEP 4
Work Experience
Put in order from recent to past.
- Intern at General Media Company
- Waitress at Big Mama’s Mechanic Shop
- Vampire Hunter
- Bee- Keeper
- Friend
*Go as far back as you can remember cause I don’t know about you but I know I had a job when I was a baby… lover.

STEP 5
Related Experiences
If you know how to hypnotize a snail while singing Semi- Charmed Life in French wearing a teapot on your head… put that baby down. Damn straight it’s related. I am 97% sure your boss would look at that and say, “Whoa. Whoa… I freakin’ love putting things on my head. Freakin’ hired!”

STEP 6
Technical Skillz
NEVER EVER put word, excel or insecurity… because all you will be doing at that job would be word, excel and/or cleaning the ears of disheartened souls.

STEP 7
References
This is where Jesus, Santa Claus or the elf from Keebler would probably help you out the most. But if you don’t know any of them then the best reference I can recommend is your heart.

STEP 8
Format
Colorful, visual, 5-pages, and…
PRETTY, PRETTY, PRETTY!!

+You may notice I left out education…
hmm I wonder why. +

Your resume sums up who you are and you stand out from the rest of the world. You are a free thinker, an individual, and an aficionado. Remembering that will help you with getting any job your lil heart desires.

My First Music Video Shoot

2006-10-03T11:03:00.000-07:00

Call Time: 11am
Location: Stage 28, Universal Lot
Musician: Daniel Powter
Guest Star: Rachael Leigh Cook
Song: Love You Lately

“You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carryin' on
Cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around“
Oh Daniel Powter, I listen to that song all the time when I have bad days.

My first job was to correct the wrong doings of Kinkos and staple the call sheets, then I realized that our studio was next to the Backdraft ride in Universal Studios and I really wanted to drop all my duties and go on the mummy ride but I couldn’t but I tried but I had to get food for the trailer and ride with Erin cause she has a car and I don’t because I failed my driver’s test because I’m incompetent but then a C- stand fell on my foot and so even if I had a car, my foot would hurt so that would suck but that turned out to be my conversation starter throughout the whole night with the sound guy and the 2nd AD and the gaffers and the make up lady who claimed she was feeling gross because she was pregnant and had her period ((?) too much info? sorry sometimes I don't have a sense of privacy) and the director who is Philip Andelman is the nicest person and so was Rachael Leigh Cook because she was playing with children, Cook played a PA in the music video and it was about how she came from a small town, possibly somewhere in Vermont or South Dakota and she wanted to make it big in Hollywood but she’s just a PA on this music video shoot so she questions herself- is this really what she wants? Is this really what I want? So then I was like, that is totally how I feel, you don’t need to hire Miss. Cook to play that part… Angel Yau IS that part! But it didn’t matter because I still got my camera time. I played the woman wearing back writing down things on my important notepad and if I see myself in this video I can imdb myself with the role of woman in black with notepad and be like, “Oh boy! FAME!” But really not, it’s just for self-esteem and even though the shoot was over at 2am, the best part of the whole shoot was the mussels.
“Angel, what did we say about the mussels?”
“That they are yellow and delicious Erin?”
“NO! NEVER EAT SHELLFISH FROM THE BACK OF A CATERING TRUCK!”
Damn it.

The End.

I wasn’t suppose to take pictures but let’s just say the following is NOT of a certain musician’s trailer and NOT of a certain Asian girl inside the NOT musician’s trailer with his clothes looking sneaky with her uniform... NOT!

A drill of sorts

2006-09-29T15:50:00.001-07:00

Late to work. An hour late. The bus.

Settled in. Plugged my laptop. Made a cup of Vienna coffee. Microwaved a piece of chocolate cake. Checked my email- oh look, no bicycles in the building, applefest in Ithaca, George Washington tagged a picture of me on facebook… an UGLY picture! Boy am I EMBARASSED!!!

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
Pshhh just someone’s harddrive…

“It’s a fire!! Everyone run!! Grab your valuables!”

I grabbed my resume, the season 2 of the office and a carrot stick.

I pushed everyone out of the way and ran downstairs.

Now even though it was only a fire drill, I thought, what has my life come to when the three valuables of mine are a piece of paper, dvds and my dignity.

I think I made a good impression at Partizan.

So little to do, so much time

2006-09-27T01:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my apartment and I went to a taping of the Ellen show. We got to sit in the front row. So be sure to look for us tomorrow! I was expecting gifts like DVDs, affection or an elephant at least… but she gave us a nickel because coffee prices are going up just like gas.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Top 5 worse ideas I had in LA (so far…)

5- Answering the office phone with “Angelino’s Pizza. We eat so you don’t have to.”
4- Using nickels to ride the bus (1.25 divided by 5)
3- Three words: Pizza Buffet
2- Surfing with coyotes in the middle of the night while fixing my hair to look good for Ashton Kutcher who turned out to be a robot who was allergic to ham which is the butt of usually a pig and is delicious with butter and/or pineapple.
1- Walking from work to my apartment

The bus system in Los Angeles isn’t the best organized. They have a time schedule in which they do not follow. 15 minutes, half an hour, 4 hours… who knows how late they want to be.

So on September 21st I decided that I had 2- 5 extra hours in my life to walk from Hollywood Blvd and Highland Ave to Barham Blvd and Forest Lawn Dr.
“I have a good memory,” I thought, “this should be doable- sure it will be time consuming but so is waiting for the bus and think of all the calories I will burn and people I will impress.”
Here are things I passed by:

And then uh oh they decided not to finish their pathway for pedestrians.

I was stuck in the middle of the highway.

Wondering if I should take the risk and keep walking with the cars?
Um. Nope.
I called my friend, Erin to come pick me up.
I didn’t even know where I was. The only clues I gave her were lakeshore rd, the leftest side and paperclip.

A few hours later- she found me. Thank you. The End.

--------------------------------------------------------------

On my last note- I’m still in love with Weird Al. He was signing autographs at Virgin Megastore today, promoting his new album. I caught a glimpse. So hot. The end.

la la land

2006-09-18T22:23:00.000-07:00

I have been in Los Angeles for 39 days so far. I will recap each day with 1 to 4 sentences. Enjoy!

Day 1
Move in day at the Oakwoods apartment with my roomies. They seem nice. There's a fireplace in the apartment. Cool.

Day 2
First time at In N' Out burger, animal style. Also first time at the horses races. The horse COLLEGE EDUCATION lost BIG time. Hmmmmm.

Day 3
I interviewed at the Laugh Factory, where I thought little hands construct happiness in an assembly line. But sadly they only have office work available.

Day 4
ICLA orientation day 1. School work? Went to the taping of Julia Louis-Dreyfus' TV show. I'm questioning my desire for the industry already.

Day 5
ICLA orientation day 2. They only had one small t-shirt left. I took it.

Day 6
I interviewed at Smuggler, a music video/commercial place, who never had interns before and told me that they'll call me back. (Still waiting for that call) Saw SNAKES ON A PLANE, who never had such a lively audience and told me they'll be #1. (Still waiting for dreams to come true)

Day 7
Worrying about finding the right internships for me. I want an internship that will be hands on, creative, no errand running, no office stuff, free lunch, free love, give me lessons to learn in life, give me comfort, give me numbers to celebs.

Day 8
Santa Monica Beach is a beach in Santa Monica.

Day 9
Realized there are insanely amount of children stars in Oakwoods. I hope they have love and a Etch-a-Sketch to grow up with.

Day 10
Went to the supermarket to buy meat. I love meat. Kinds of meat I like: bacon, italian sausage, prime ribs, london broil, filet mignon, T-bone steak, steak in general.

Day 11
Interviewed at Scrubs- the TV show about medical things and Partizan- a music video/commercial place that represents Michel Gondry. Accepted the Partizan internship because they represent Michel Gondry and they promised on set work and the supervisor said my dress looked pretty. Bought the Snakes on a Plane soundtrack to celebrate.

Day 12
First day of classes. First day of hope. First day of eating at In N' Out... wait. 9th day of eating at In N' Out.

Day 13
A night with Emmy nominated writers- Entourage, Grey's Anatomy, Lost, Simpsons and Penn & Teller hosted by Dennis Miller at the Screenwriter's Guild. The advice that stood out to me from them: to read a lot of good scripts to inspire you, to read a lot of bad scripts to make you feel better, do stand up comedy and put your works on youtube.com

Day 14
Went to the taping of "The Class." The girl that played Janice from Mean Girls is in it, she has a similar personality as Janice but a complete different look. Oh TV, you slay me.

Day 15
Sometimes when I look at the Hollywood sign, I think, were you really woods? Or is this another false promise.

Day 16
Universal Studios has some pretty good rides. I want to be the Mummy there. Julia Louis-Dreyfus won an emmy.

Day 17
Interviewed at Arjay entertainment who covers a lot of red carpet events- they're selling point was that I get to meet J Timbs. And also interviewed at Dawn Parouse- they produce Prison Break- they're selling point was that I get to drink wine with them occasionally.

Day 18
Attended to the taping of Jay Leno with Orlando Bloom and Carrot Top. New goal in life: to be on Jay Leno and tell a joke about babies and racism.

Day 19
Today was a Wednesday.

Day 20
First day at Partizan- filed a bunch of papers, saw Michel Gondry's office, drooled. Saw Little Miss Sunshine at the Arclight- want to adopt the little girl in it and call her my own.

Day 21
Second day at Partizan- a new intern started today. I made him file the things that I had to file yesterday. I'm climbing up the corporate ladder already.

Day 22- 24
Labor day weekend means you labor the weekend away.

Day 25
Volunteered at the LA International Shorts Fest as the camera person. Interviewed with Thora Birch, Paul Haggis, Adrian Grenier, Jason Reitman and others. Wanted to ask for their autograph and a million dollars for my new film... but I kept my professionalism. Best advice they gave: make something you love and know.

Day 26
Interviewed with Warner Bros. Promotions only because I wanted to explore the lot. I didn't get to explore the lot because it was next to a Taco Bell. I explored Taco Bell instead.

Day 27
There's a new intern at Partizan. I said hi and a conversation starter to him. He did not answer. Later I found out, he can only speak French.

Day 28
We finally got to see the infamous Mr. Belding (Save by the Bell) at Dimples. I was too afraid to ask for a picture. How am I ever going to survive Hollywood?

Day 29
I played charades today- I was ask to act out Turquoise Headband. I made a band shape with my fingers and put it on my head- then I started to hump my friend. Confusion. That's because I thought I had to act out Intercourse Headband.

Day 30
Went to the Mayflower grocery store and saw the red head kid from childhood movies, such as Sandlot and The Big Green. Went to the UCB theatre to see Assscat and Doug Benson. Lessons: Don't smoke weed for every meal. Buy chicken cutlets when they are on sale.

Day 31
Applied to be an extra for TV shows, movies and commercials. Interviewed at Music Plus TV and HBO comedy fest. Dreams of being a supermega TV star that can win the hearts of America coming closer.

Day 32
3 words: candy! candy! candy!

Day 33
Today in class we learned that Angel will always do her homework the day of.

Day 34
Finally a bit of rain in LA. Slipped and fell on walk of fame on the way to work. Ouch. Damn John Tesh and his slippery star!

Day 35
Partizan invited me to go to the bars with them. I've heard about this- how work takes you out and you get to meet all the hot celebs. We went to a hole in the wall-literarily. There were no windows. The only star I met was Haggy the shiny vest magician.

Day 36
Volleyball Tournament. Total Babe Action had color coordinated their outfits. They practiced all morning. They lost 2 games.

Day 37
Working on my screenplay called Vampire Scares and Robot Dares! It's a romantic- comedy.

Day 38
Had to wake up at 4:30am to get to the set of ER to be an extra. I am Bruane Vargas, the OR resident in the NICU department, my license expires in 2002. I was too nervous and it showed. I can't even be good at being an extra. What has my life come to?

Day 39
Trying to remember 38 days.